GAMES FOR HYSTERICAL COUPLES – GAME 4: REVERSE HEADACHE (PART 5) | Pharmacynote

Apr
09
2009

GAMES FOR HYSTERICAL COUPLES – GAME 4: REVERSE HEADACHE (PART 5)

Posted by: admin in Categories: Men's Health-Erectile Dysfunction.
Using Tags: Men’s Health

Another objection by this same patient was, “What if my wife isn’t playing a game? What if she really gets headaches? Isn’t it cruel to imitate her?” Generally when a symptom (headache) happens repeatedly and directly in response to the same situation (sex), it is psychosomatic. This is not to say that the headaches are not real. They are real—but they also are somatic representations of unconscious feelings. So to cure the headache entails resolving the feelings underneath. It is no crueler to mirror her headaches than it would be to apply an ice bag to her temple.

The other reason why my patient was skeptical was that he didn’t want to give up the game he had been unconsciously playing until then—the passive game of “Oh, what I have to endure because of you.” He would rather have continued that game and derive its secondary benefits of feeling morally superior to his “rejecting” wife than take an action designed to end their ritualistic conundrum. All too often we would rather cling to an old way, even if it is not working, than venture to a new one.